I haven't launched my play cafe because, well, a number of things.
These weren't what I wanted, I didn't feel "fulfilled" in the birth.
I don't do it all, to start with; I could make long lists of the things that aren't done.
I don't drool over the chance to hold a precious floppy tiny one.
" was met with two responses: "I need you too" and "sorry, I'm very busy right now and I need more 'intellectual stimulation.
But some of the time, when I'm not juggling Everett's needs and work, I can be present, I can do it all. The answer is, I have no idea. I can't focus on one thing for more than a couple of hours. But I don't, largely, I think, because I feel my failings are in the spotlight when I'm the primary all-the-time caregiver. If Jonathan was getting school paid for by the good 'ol U. A ripped-up-jersey sheet is a "star blankie" and having it on your head makes you a "scary GHOST.
And I'm glad to be able to provide this living newsletter. I'm vastly better with older children. I looked at her in surprise.
There's "checkup" for ketchup and "chicken" instead of kitchen and "choschage" and "hangurber" and "canpakes.
We're in the phone book under my husband's name.
At the farmer's market, as I furiously spent money and gathered fresh-made goodies, he grew more tired and impatient at every step. When he says his first few words.
We talked about pregnancy and plans for it; about jobs and children and life.
It's a beautiful, special thing, and it's just beginning.
The silly stories Daddy tells. But the timing was a little odd. We had to bring his cup to the store with us and put him in the stroller because he couldn't be slowed down by the putting on of sandals. With Truman, I'm happy to hand him off to someone more capable of gurgling to a delicate little thing who can't give anything back but heavy breathing and cries. "It's odd, how we choose to place our guilt for not spending every moment focused on our kids.
I never would have believed that this blog would be, not the vehicle to great success in my last job, but possibly what brought my last job to its end. But when I'm around other people's infants? We cover them in kisses, we hug their tiny bodies with a desperate jealousness, we get high on their milky smell.