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[Fsfe-uk] Re: Image Flyer FSF

From: MJ Ray
Subject: [Fsfe-uk] Re: Image Flyer FSF
Date: Thu, 23 May 2002 13:05:09 GMT
User-agent: slrn/ (Linux)

Andreas Gebhard <address@hidden> wrote:
> as Georg told you, we are doing the new FSF Flyer. If you want to change=20
> the text, feel free to do it. We need it on sunday 3 pm.

Just suggestions.  Watch out for anyone flaming me to see if I'm right.

> 1.    freedom: The freedom to run the program, for any purpose.
> 2.     freedom: The freedom to study how the program works, and adapt it =
> to your needs. Access to the source code is a precondition for this.
> 3.     freedom: The freedom to redistribute copies.
> 4.     freedom: The freedom to improve the program, and release your impr=
> ovements to the public, so that the whole community benefits. Access to t=
> he source code is a precondition for this.

I think maybe these should say 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th?  These look like
German ordinals to me ;-)

> system is modular, so Linus Torvalds was able to write the Linux knel to =

"knel"?  (kernel?)

> The GNU system with a Linux kernel - the GNU/Linux system - is particular=
> ly widely-used today and provides the basis for every so-called Linux dis=
> tribution.

Is this true?  I remember hearing of Daemon Linux and a Tcl-based one.  OK,
this is an editorial point rather than a language one.

> The GNU General Public License (GPL) and its sister license, the GNU Less=

"sister licence", IMO. (The others are names, so probably should stand in
their original spelling.)

> to the GPL. This vaccinating effect against proprietarization by third pa=
> rties is often referred to as Copyleft.

proprietarisation (and to hell with the Oxford conservatives!)

> GPL/LGPL are the most widely used licenses for Free Software today.

licences (and again a few times).

>  Stallman as the legal branch of the GNU Project. Facing the need to also=
>  do tasks like spreading awareness for Free Software as well as legal and=
>  political work, the FSF soon grew beyond this initial idea.

Split infinitive.  I suggest either moving to "Facing the need also to do
tasks like..." or a refactor: "Also facing the need to do tasks like..."  I
think the second is nicer, but I'm not sure if that changes the meaning.

>  it the oldest organization of its kind.

organisation (and again a few times).

> ctable donations in other countries, as well, the FSF Europe seeks to set=
>  up charitable per-country units - usually referred to as Chapters - when=
> ever possible.

I'd suggest "country-specific" instead of "per-country".  Not sure why.

>  positions and values of the FSF can apply for associate status. As of 1.=
> 6.2002, the associate organizations of the FSF Europe are: AFFS (UK), ANS=
> OL (Portugal), APRIL (France), AsSoLi (Italy), FFII (Germany), FFS (Austr=
> ia), Ofset (France).

Either use "1/6/2002" (but that's potentially confusing for US visitors), or
better "1st June 2002".

> s makes Free Software the most secure way of investing into IT.

"investing in IT", I think.

It would be nice to see more mention of supporting associates in the
"Support the FSFE" bit at the end, but again, that's editorial rather than
a correction needing comment.

Hope this is some assistance.  I'm not sure that I've caught it all, but
there are some bits which jar that I've pointed out.

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