Some suggested improvements for in-game text

[Janne]

I posted a comment on Game Tome about Pingus and mentioned that some of
the text in the game could use some brushing up. I got kindly reminded
that it might be a good idea to tell the devels about it, which I now
do.

As I know myself how touchy criticism of language can be, I want to
stress that these are just suggestions and are in no way meant to be
taken as criticizing the author. I am involved in gnome translation,
which means I'm likely a good deal more sensitive to language nuances
than most players.



Backstory:

First screen:

"...other animals, everything was..."
Should have a full stop rather than a comma.

Second screen:

"..change slowly."
Should be "slowly change."

"worlds"
"world's"


Third screen:

"Other animals already tend to..."
"Other animals tended to..."

Fifth screen:

"also know as Tutorial"
"also known as Tutorial"

"which where send out into"
"that were sent out into"

Sixth screen:

"which are ideally"
"which are ideal"

"can train there their ability"
"can there train their ability"

"and all the rest of their talents"
"and all the other talents"

"will surly need"
"will surely need"

Seventh screen:

"While you on the other side can practice there"
"You can, on the other hand, practice"

"familiar there with"
"familiar with"

"for sure an your"
"for sure on your"

Eight screen

"tutorial island"
"Tutorial Island" (you capitalized it in an earlier screen)

"take over the command"
"take command"


First mission:

"its pretty easy."
"it's pretty easy."

"acomplished"
"accomplished"


Second mission:

"in mission one, now lets start"
"in mission one! Now, let's start"


Third mission:

"Opposed to"
"In contrast to"

"is simple, select at the"
"is simple: select in the"

"the exit, make sure"
either
"the exit. Make sure"
or
"the exit, making sure"

Fifth mission:

"but don't panic this one is"
"but don't panic, as this one is"

"If you have think you"
"If you think you have"


Sixth mission:

"required much fast actions of yourself"
"required quick action from yourself"


Seventh mission:

"by walking, thats when the Jumper comes in handy, it"
"by walking. That's when the Jumper comes in handy; it"

"enables him so to reach"
"enables him to reach"


Eight mission:

"hits the street, it is again a digging action, this time a diagonal
one, it"
"hits the street. It is again a digging action, this time a diagonal
one, and it"


Ninth mission:

"available, you have"
"available, so you have"

"a few, to save"
"a few to save"


Tenth mission:

"through basically every ground, but"
"through basically every kind of ground, but"

"that are steal objects."
"that is steel objects."

"darkgrey"
"dark grey"

"so find a way"
"so you must find a way"


Eleventh mission:

"Again it is the time to"
"It is again time to"

"in control, the Blocker"
"in control; the Blocker"


Twelfth mission:

"to be passed a bridge"
"to be passed, a bridge"


Thirteenth mission:

"climb of straight walls"
"climb up straight walls"



I haven't seen any further, as the persistant lag and jumping
unfortunately prevents me from completing any more missions.
 


-- 

Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.

Tel.    +46-046 222 8588             Dr. Janne Morén (mr)
Home:   +46-046 211 4973             Dept. of Cognitive Science
Fax:    +46-046 222 9758             Kungshuset, Lund
                                     S-222 22 Lund, Sweden